wuvwabbits's Cancer Blog

I can totally relate. I ended up pushing so many people away. Why do we do that? One thing that helped me is to just realize that this is part of the process and to not be upset by the roller-coaster, to almost embrace it. Not sure if that makes sense. Hang in there. Vent here when ever you need to. You are not alone, we all have similar feelings.

Posted on January 22, 2008 at 7:50:37 AM by jill

I don’t know why I am handling things this way, but it just adds to the fear thinking I couldlose the one person I need most – the love of my life.

Posted on January 22, 2008 at 8:08:17 AM by wuvwabbits

Hi, my name is Donna. I hope I can help, I have stage 4 colon cancer with mets to the liver and lungs.
One thing that really helped me is to join a local support group. We had a young womens group at our local hospital. 20’s – 50 and I also met a lot of great women in chemo and we started our own support group. I would suggest checking into local cancer support groups. I can find you some if you like.
Support groups are great for getting your feelings out, asking questions and getting the answers from someone who has been there.

I was exhausted from all the family questions on a daily basis on how I was doing, what is happening next etc etc… so I started a blog and asked them to check there first so I did not have to repeat myself 10 times a day because it was so draining.
I was also bad at the “Oh, I am fine” or “I am going to be fine” Family and friends are not really the best support. You are too worried about upsetting them and they are too worried about you to be objective. I really think my support group prolonged my life quite a bit because I had nowhere else to turn and did not want to burden my family knowing they were already worried to death.
I don’t know anything about you but it sounds like this is a recent diagnosis? or re-diagnosis?
I have not read this anywhere but I think I will include it in my book. Cancer, Chemo and Beyond.
I believe you go through stages very similar to greif when you are diagnosed with cancer. Shock and disbelief are first, then Anger, Frustration then The fight of your life next is fear of it coming back if you are lucky enough to beat it. Some like me come to a place of acceptance, others fight until their last day or are lucky it never comes back.
The anxiety will eat you alive if you can’t talk it out with someone. Hope this helped a little.
The girls that I met at chemo that formed a support group, we have on-line support with several links that can help. I have to run that by Jill if I can post here. Feel free to e-mail me anytime if you just want to blow off some steam. donnarichno@yahoo.com
Deep breath and scream
Donna

Posted on January 22, 2008 at 12:31:52 PM by stage4

That link is http://pinellascountysurvivorsnetwork.org/
it has a lot of information on it.
Take Care
Donna

Posted on January 23, 2008 at 6:45:39 AM by stage4

Donna – thank you so much! I feel guilty for being such a baby so early inthe game – last year I flew through cancer and post surgery wa stold it was gone – well it’snot. I know I don’t have it as bad as so many and I know I need some direction and support to get strong! Thankyou – you are an inspiration!
Lori

Posted on January 23, 2008 at 7:38:51 AM by wuvwabbits

Good morning: that is the way that I try to start my day to make sure that I am going to have a good day… I see that you are a fun person, anyone who says “wuvwabbit” must have a sense of humour.. what you have to do is get back to to what you were before you found out that you had cancer.. it is not going to change the situation about you having cancer but it will help change the situation with the family.. We are not all the same and we all have to deal with it in each our own way, but we must deal with it.. I can share what i did but remember that it was me.
After the first couple of day of being angry, I decided to turn it over to my Creator (God) I litteraly gave Him my concern or my problem for I knew that there was absolutely nothing that I could do.. (sometimes it is easier said than done) But I am a stubborn person and I refused to let the cancer beat me. Each time that it would come to mind I would say “No I refuse to accept this for it is not God’s way, I gave it up to Him
and I am leaving it with Him. I looked at it as though every one else was worse off then I was and then I made sure that everyone around me was more comfortable than I was.. Yes by always smiling and making sure that others were taken care of before I was sure helped me deal with it.
It has been a little over 2 years ago since I found out that I had cancer I must say that i still have some bad days, but I try to make sure that I have a lot more good days.. It is not always easy but it is what I decided to do, after all I could not control being born and I cannot control when it is that I am going to die but I can control what I am going to do and I make sure that I am going to do it.. I don’t know if you are a woman of faith but as for me I definitely know that it is because of my faith that I am here today.. and because of it I have had so many beautiful things happen.. All I can do for you is to raise you up to my God and ask Him to give a special grace to be able to deal with it.. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless. Ray
PS. Have you ever heard of the song “You raise me up” by Josh Grobin.. if not make sure that you hear it, not only hear it but listen to it very carefully….

Posted on January 29, 2008 at 6:11:21 AM by rayoflights7

Thank you for your prayers and advice. I am working to regain my faith and inner strength that I know can come from only one Source. I have gotten stuck so deeply in the “human” that I seemed to have lost my connection with the spirit. I thin there are elements (people) in my my life that don’t belong here and it is a very hard thing for me to make life changing decisions in the midst of my health issues. Keep praying – that is all I can ask for at this point and I have learned that it is okay to ask for prayer and help from those in the spirit while I try to find it again myself. Lori

Posted on January 29, 2008 at 6:48:23 AM by wuvwabbits

I am now taking the oral chemo and fighting intense levels of fatigue, aching and ill feeling in general. I also notice mymind seems to be in a fog – has anyone else experienced this? My boyfriend even looks at me funny and says I lookefd like I’m out in space somewhere. Does this ease as my body gets used to these drugs or is this something that is here to stay while I am on the oral doses? ARGGHH!

Posted on February 7, 2008 at 9:18:02 AM by wuvwabbits

WuvWabbits – I just noticed you posted a comment on the community blog for Sue. She might not see it there but if you post a comment on her personal blog she will get an email notification. Take care!

Posted on February 7, 2008 at 9:25:54 AM by jill

wuvwabbits-I love that.
I was wondering if you saw Susan’s response to your post on http://www.pinellascountysurvivorsnetwork.org
I didn’t know if you know she responded to you and she doesn’t have a blog here. I hope you are feeling better.
Donna

Posted on February 11, 2008 at 1:05:45 AM by stage4